So it feels like another day,

As titled, it feels like another day, depression, sadness, discomfort, regrets, it feels like today is supposed to be one of the happiest days of the year yet it seems like nothing anyone does is breaking me out of this depression. I am thankful for the gifts others have given me but I just feel like so much is missing from my life today like there's really no meaning to the day of Christmas anymore to me. I wanted to spend the day with family have a fun enjoyful evening but instead I'm in my room right now just wanting to vent out how I feel. Music is on seems like that's the only thing I want to listen to beside anyone. I just miss having the meaning of Christmas being what it used to be. There's no meaning to the day anymore to me. Call me Scrooge but it's true. I wanted to be around both families and didn't, I only get to see my moms family once a year unless there's a death or some other occasion going on which is rarely. I hate pretending that days could get better when really they tend to be like a rollercoster ride; there is more downfalls in my life right now than highlights which to me is very depressing to me. I don't want to kill myself but then again I wish something horrible would happen, like something tragic just so then everyone could come to the realization of what is really important in life. I had fun at my friend Jorge's family house but then at the same time it didn't feel like Christmas non of the less. Well I don't feel like really writing anymore so I'm just going to go for now.

So Life Comes Down To This

So it seems in the worst of times how there might never be someone there at that exact moment to pick you up and help you rise, but I've notice you need to fall to be grateful for the little things that happen to you. About two years ago I received a rock and on it was engraved, "FRIENDS" and most of my life I've known that friends are the ones that have been there for me. But lately it has changed friends are also my family and that whenever things have turned out for the worst they have always been there without knowing anything to bring me up from a dark asylum. I have known some of these people for not too long but let me say this that within the short time I have known them it has felt like years of memories. I don't know what to really say but thank you. I have always used my blogger account to write down my thoughts like a diary since I know really no one goes on it. But now I have it linked to other social networks and frankly I don't mind what people think cause just like the title, it's what you get. I have always relied on family for finical issues but when it comes to other things that you just can't buy it's priceless. I see these friends as family and nothing less. Family is whatever you make of it and not only blood deserves to be part of it because honestly, blood relatives sometimes just don't care for you and treat you like you don't even exist. I listen to music now a days to express myself and also write my own music, I love the feeling of my own touch upon my face because I know that when I'm still alive I know there is still a will for me and a purpose for me to live. Three years ago I tried to take my life away and found strength in my religion to help me through those dark days. Now I pray from time to time for those that need my prayers but I know by the works of god that someone is always praying for me. I regret what I have done in the past to some people but there's no point in killing myself with something I can not change. I've always said that if I had the opportunity to change the past and alter it I wouldn't because I might not be 100% content with how things are but for the things and people I have right now I would never want that to be altered so I wouldn't change a thing. Life happens for a reason and now I know why. Listening to paramore on pandora, lol, funny how I hear something not modern but still it brings so much out of me. I really want to write more but running out of things to write. So with that being said adios. Farewell. Good Bye.

Scholarship Opportunity To SJHA Drama Bulldogs

Scholarship opportunity,
Well I am proud to say that this year I was blown away by the drama performance that I would like to give away one 200 dollar scholarship to one special person. Grades don't matter, but one thing that does matter is how well you interact with the school and your references that will be called upon. I want to know, what brings you to the stage? What is your goals for doing this so? So, the person that woahs me the most will be given an 200 dollar prepaid visa card to use on whatever they chose to use it on. Whither it be for fun or for college savings. All I want to see is students becoming more active within SJHA and showing some bulldog spirit...... Unfortunately, this is an SJHA Scholarship only meant for bulldogs. Freshmen, great opportunity to earn some money and Seniors, start thinking about college.
A second prize will be awarded as well of 50 dollars of any store of that persons choice.....

Like I said before, grades don't matter but they will play an important part in this competition.

REQUIREMENTS:
-2.0 overall GPA of 1st semester and last 3/4 of second semester.
-Interactive within the school and drama department.
-1 to 2 page essay about your experiences in drama and school that made you who you are.
-3 references (Name, Job Title, Relation)
-phone
or
-email


So all I could say now is, good luck to you Bulldogs and keep up the hard work.
(Grammar and spelling doesn't matter as long as it is readable)

Always,
Tony L. Pereira

Contact Information:
tonypereira10391@gmail.com

"The December Project"

I was impressed by the first few seconds when it nearly just started. The excitement and the thrills that just came to me by seeing these students perform on stage was outstanding. I was impressed and always on the hold of my seat waiting for something new to always come around the corner and surprise me and guess what? It came to me; came to me like light shinning onto a new day where all I could feel was awe the whole time. This is by far my favorite performance that I have gone watched that Mr. Calkins has produced. And all the actors and singers and musicians BRAVO is all I could say, BRAVO........ And to the drama department and all students at SJHA, keep up the bulldog pride. The best thing about going to SJHA is that you could be anything you set yourself to be. You could be a slacker that thinks your the coolest person on campus, or you could be the one that enjoys the whole school meets new people, gathers a lot of new skills, and succeed while still being outgoing and active with your school and community.
I still regret the things I was too scared to try back when I was in high school because if I only had tried, just even once, then maybe I would be more satisfied with my choices in my life. So this is what I got to say to all the people that where a part in the play, "Never stop" by that I mean never stop what your heart wants you to do because what you decide to do everyday is only going to effect the next. Honestly for 5 dollars, the money wasn't an issue, but being in there was something that I like to call, "Magnificent."
Keep up the hard work and I'm proud to be able to watch your work live and be thrilled by it.
The future has many opportunities still to come and by that I mean that things are going to still get better I could see that happening.
More info about the scholarship opportunity will be mentioned latter on.
But all I could say is, "Thank You Bulldogs"

Always,
Tony L. Pereira

How Much I Yet Have To Learn

I got not enough time to complete my life having to worry one day after another about wether or not my dad might loss the home I celebrated my communion and my birthday parties till I was 8 years old. Well, on my birthday he's supposed to loose the house on my birthday. Well, isn't that the best thing that could of happened. I see him struggle and struggle living each paycheck by paycheck and keep on telling myself I want to help but really there is nothing I could do. My mother I blame since she receives almost 50% of my dads paycheck towards her pathetic spousal support. I get no child support, yet my dad has not a single dime to his name and my mother, owns hundreds of thousands of dollars and could always sleep at night knowing that, neither of her children will ever go to college because we don't have the funding ourselves and knowing that nobody is willing to help with finical aide to actually go to college. I want to be a teacher so bad so that I could help someone one day see their true potential. I had to watch my dad cry today as he talks about how when he dies, he won't have nothing to give his kids and that he feels that his job as a father is a failure. I see him as someone that is getting hurt and not a failure. The failure I see is the people like my mother staying at home collecting unemployment and spousal support while everyone else has to work they're asses off to make sure she gets that money each month with the money she already has. I'm not going to college because I wanted to use my inheritance from my desist  grandmother to go to college but my mother and godmother refuse for me to get anything or any help to go to college. I'm actually looking for a new job that way when next year comes I might have enough saved to go to college. Honestly, people go through worst in this world but for me, I'm unfamiliar with any of this and it makes me feel lost and confused. I honestly don't know what to say or do in order to make things any better. I'm going to have to say goodbye to my whole entire past and all the memories that happened in that house to have to pass it again soon and know that I won't be welcomed in it anymore because it belongs to someone else. And also now I have to find a good home for my parakeets since I can't keep them here with me at my grandparents house because my grandpa is allergic to them and i've had them for such a long time and it hurts to have to give so much away. If anyone knows how to help me deal with this just go ahead and shot out some ideas. Oh also, when I turn 18, on October 3rd my mother is going to court to try to get even more from my dad. Honestly, do you think it is wrong to disown your own mother for causing a lot of this? Cause when I turn 18, I'm going to take legal action and take her to court to get my money so then I could go to college. Well, I ought to go to bed since I got work tomorrow morning at 10 am so I'll be back tomorrow. Goodnight or good morning  or good afternoon everybody.

SJHA STUDENTS

Well, just to start off with, I would like to congratulate the class of 2010 for finally becoming seniors. It's so wired being a senior as many things are rushing through your head as though high schools almost over. Well, honestly to say, it is almost over unless you make something out of it. So a word of advice, if there has been anything you been dying to do during your 4 years at SJHA and never tried, DO IT!!!! While you still have time there. I am coming down August 17, 2oo9 to come visit and drop off some things. Firstly, Mr. Calkins, if you're reading this, I'm sorry I never sent you those pictures but I am going to upload them still and print you the photos and stop by on the first day of school to give it to you. Also, NOTE TO ALL UPPERCLASSMEN, don't treat the freshmen's like there worthless little puny kids. Help them out and show them how much fun it is to be at SJHA because you know what, "ONCE A BULLDOG, ALWAYS A BULLDOG" and honestly, I could have treated all you other upperclassmen's like "freshmeat" like I was treated, but I don't see the point in that, it's only going to tear them down and then school wont be as much fun to them. COMMON bulldogs, we know we got the best school in San Jose so lets prove that our students are the best as well. Also a wired but interesting fact to know,  I'm going to college to become a math teacher so in approximately 5 years I'm going to apply at SJHA to become a math teacher. I know it's wired but I really love my school enough to go back in 5 years. But as for me currently, I've been seeing places in San Jose that I find to be rather interesting, like yesterday I saw Bambi and his family at Alum Rock Park and a HUGE turtle the size of like 5 fists or maybe even bigger. I still plan to go to Santa Cruz one more time before school starts in September to go for fun but I don't know exactly what's going to happen yet. My summer has been boring and fun but over all I miss high school and trust me, if I know there is a drama performance in the making, I will be volunteering a lot for you guys cause you guys are the best. Also with football games, if the schools band needs a little more help, I'll be there too. I plan to go to BIG BONE just to see people so let me know if you're going and well running out of words to say so if you would want to contact me you could always text or call my cell at (408)-903-5744 or email me at tonypereira10391@gmail.com

Summer & Misc............ 2009

Well, my summer is going wired by matter of fact and I don't know what to expect of what the rest of it is going to be like. My foster cousin today had to go to a new home for a week and then he might be back after that. So basically I have no plans for the summer, I might get my laptop shipped out next week or at lest I will try to. DHL is a dumb shipping company, thats only my opinion. My sister got cable this week on Wednesday so now I'm somewhat occupied with things to do. I got sunburned on Thursday and yah it's recovering, but I'm not upset I was working on a tan and now, IDK it is getting darker. I called Yolanda today to wish her a happy birthday since I'm unable to see her since she lives somewhere else now but thats ok we are good friends despite the distance. I am going to DeAnza college this upcoming fall. Listening to "Knock You Down" on my iPod touch. So bored, going with my sister to take her birthday shopping on Wednesday and Monday both of us are going to jog and work out. Still working on My album                            "Fade Away©2009"    Coming out in September of 2009 so yah I'll keep everyone updated. Wanting to post my pics up but haven't had the camera and the laptop at the same time together so yah srry people. I will send you the link when I get them but if you want the pics email me. People that want pics of me and them together let me know and I'll send them to you once I get the chance. 

Ok everyone,

Farewell, 

Always,

Tony Luis Pereira

P.S. "I'mma gonna be a BULLDOG 4 Life"